Think I Found Em’

Gutter Cleaning

For any of you out there who have been keeping up with my miserable life lately, you know that I hit a few bumps in the road over the past month or so and I am really going to try and prevent another mental breakdown from happening (see here). So instead of allowing my house to slowly fall apart around me and waiting for the inevitable feces to hit the fan, I decided to take a look around my house and take a little peek at anything that might need a little fixing up before it falls apart in front of me and takes my soul with it. I felt like quite the little home inspector and it felt pretty good I must say.

The only real problem that I found (hopefully the only problem I will find) are my gutters.

These aren’t actually from my house and my actual gutters aren’t that bad, but in enough time I think they will get to this point and I know I will end up losing my mind when they collapse on me on a random day that I was not expecting and cause me to pull what little hair I have remaining from my head.

Going All In

So instead of sitting around waiting for my gutters to turn into a totally new and self sustaining ecosystem and wind up costing me thousands and thousands of dollars, I am going to nip this in the butt and spend the money now. Makes sense, right?

There definitely is something about spending money when you choose to though, as opposed to getting a bill thrown at you that you had no idea was coming. It was actually kind of fun doing the research to find the best looking gutter protection I could find for my house and I think I have found them. I found this site at and even though they don’t live in my city, it looks like they carry the brand that I am going to go for. I know there are a lot of different kinds of gutter guards or whatever the hell they are called on the market but none really caught my attention like these ones did. Now I am no home improvement professional by any means, but I can’t think of any design or other kind of material that could stop random things from getting in my gutters like these could.

I haven’t called the place yet but I am curious as to how much this is going to run me. It can’t be too much can it? I guess I really have no room to complain or be a cheapskate on this one. I am the only who let my gutters get to the point that they are at and to be completely honest, I have never even thought of putting any kind of work or real money into these things so I might as well save me the headache down the road and just get this out of the way. At least this is the logic that is making me feel better and that’s all that really matters, right?

The way I am looking at it, if I put this off another year or two I am going to forget about them and then one day I am going to walk outside and see the gutters fallen in the middle of my lawn or even worse on my car and then I am going to look back at this very moment and think about how I should have just spoiled myself and bought the damn things. Yeah, just imagining that happening is enough motivation for me to make this happen.

A New Preventative Approach

Home Improvement

I have weathered the worst (I hope) of a little string of bad luck lately and I think it’s time I take a new approach and try to prevent this blog from turning into a 100% complaining fest from a tired old man. So as you know by now, I have had a few rough patches lately and have had to pour in a lot more money into things that I have never really thought I would. Termites, tree service… What the hell else is next?

So after I finished celebrating from my house being termite free, I sat down and I started to think a little bit about what I can do to stop this from happening again anytime soon. So throughout the week I started doing a little bit of pondering around my house and tried to look for things that might end up costing me some money down the road and I must admit, things are looking ok. My plumbing seems to be spot on, the paint all around my house looks fresh and new, and my car is running like new. Things were looking a little too good (as I knew they probably were) until I made it to the roof of my house.

Onto My Stupid Roof

Alright so I don’t want to overreact quite yet, but I am kind of afraid my roof and especially my gutters are about to be the next ones to go. Please tell me that it’s normal to have a little garden looking thing starting to grow inside your gutters?

Yeah, I didn’t think so.

Not Panicking

Alright so I am not going to start moaning and complaining quite yet, but I don’t think this is going to be cheap. I can already see it now. I am going to wake up one day and walk outside to see my entire roof caved in with this garden growing in my gutters spreading across my whole front lawn.

So my old self would have immediately started cursing up a storm at my whole house and wondering why me. But ever since my termite situation got fixed, I am not going to be the one who just immediately goes to complaining so I calmly walked myself over to my computer and started doing some research on my options. I checked out some different brands at home depot and although they have some options, I want to go all out.

I am so tired of these random parts of my house just falling apart on me and I don’t want to have to deal with this in the future. Apparently gutters are kind of a common thing to overlook and I am not going to be a victim again. Especially with the storms that we tend to get around here. Remember how bad the one was that I told you about in my first post? Yeah, an entire tree got blown down in my front lawn and ended up costing me thousands. So I think it’s pretty safe to assume that these stupid gutters on my house won’t pose much of a challenge against another brutal storm and I am not going to let this happen.

This whole new attitude I have developed is kind of nice isn’t it? Stay tuned to see what I end up throwing more money away at by my own choice this time.




It has been a while since I last posted but that is a good thing. Things have been ok and I really only like to get on this thing if I have something to complain about.

Life is Good

So what happened with the termites you ask? Well my friends if you remember, it looked like my only options were to either fumigate my entire house or to use some kind of termite spray/foam thing to get rid of them and unlike my whole tree situation, this one actually went perfectly.



I could not be happier to report that I found the little bastards early enough and the exterminator that I hired only had to use this thing called termidor (wiki link if your curious) and after it was all applied I had to sit and wait in absolute misery just monitoring them and making sure they aren’t reappearing anywhere. The guy came back a week or so later to check everything out and he gave me the green light to carry on with my life and that my termite problem is officially taken care of.

Prepared for the Worst

The way my life has been going lately, I was almost positive that a fumigation was going to be the only solution to my horrific situation. It’s funny, I was literally giving myself a pep talk before the exterminator came back to prepare myself in case I was going to have to go through with it. Luckily for him, I felt like hugging the guy instead of slapping him.

I never really stop and appreciate whenever things go right in my life and I noticed about myself that I tend to dwell on the negatives. So on that note, I am going to cheers the internet with the Miller Lite I have in my hand and appreciate this moment for a second….


Alright let’s move on.

Could Always Be Worse

So even though my luck has been kind of awful in the past (see my tree scenario), I do alright in life and there really hasn’t been anything thrown in my way that I haven’t been able to walk away from without too much damage. There are so many people out there that if this little termite problem came to life for them, their every day livelyhood and overall quality of life would be shot. I am lucky enough to have some money saved away for these rainy days but the vast majority of people out there couldn’t even dream of having money stored away for such random emergencies.

If any of you out there don’t know about termites, they are bad. And I mean really bad. If someone didn’t have the money or resources to hire a professional or even some over the counter sprays, their entire homes could be destroyed. I couldn’t even comprehend how awful of a feeling that must be and so many people have this as every day life.

I never really stop and think about how fortunate I really am and how much I need to appreciate the little things in life.

Like not having termites anymore…

This may be a whole new way of life for me. I kind of have always been a bitter old man but this little stroke of perfect luck has really kind of changed the way I look at things.

I can’t wait to see how long this little epiphany of mine lasts…



Yup, It’s as Bad as I thought it Would Be

Pest Control

Well folks, as I am sure you can tell by the title on this one, my worst fears have been confirmed… I have termites. What have I done to deserve this? I’m a pretty simple man. I like to consider myself a good person. I really do mind my own business, don’t bother anyone, and pay my taxes like every other hard working citizen in this country. What am I failing to do to continue having these obstacles thrown in my way? It could always be worse though, right?

See what I did there? Maybe this little bit of meditation I have been trying out is helping out after all.

Someone please help me…

Anyone out there ever have to deal with termites? God knows I never have, but I have definitely heard some horror stories from others. Apparently these things can eventually spread throughout your whole house and just eat away your whole foundation… Great.

So not knowing exactly where to even begin, I did what everyone else does and went to the internet. I tried to make myself feel better and began my search by seeing exactly how bad this can really get and my heart immediately began to sink.

picture of severe ceiling damage from termites                   The Dangers of Termite Damage

You have got to be kidding me…

I then proceeded to immediately call the first exterminator that I found at and had a guy come out immediately. So at this point I am still holding on to slightest glimmer of hope that this might just be something else and then Mr. Exterminator and I would share a laugh together and I could chalk this up to a humorous memory and carry on with my miserable life. Again, as I am sure you can imagine this was most certainly not the case and that this could be a real problem.

I couldn’t help but laugh out loud to myself and my misfortune, but the humor in the situation quickly faded as the guy started telling me about what is going to happen next. So apparently there are essentially 2 effective ways that the professionals treat for termites. First way is it to use some kind of termite spray or foam or whatever the hell it is to seal off all the possible entry ways and fill the hole with it. Definitely the cheaper of the two methods but isn’t a 100% guarantee and the problem potentially could be back in just a few weeks or months.

Method number 2 involves a fumigation of my home… Estimated to cost approximately $1700.

So that adds up to almost SIX THOUSAND DOLLARS worth of random damage to my house that I don’t exactly have just laying around everywhere. I am trying so hard to maintain my cool right now but this one is bad.

Have any of you ever had to deal with termites before? Any success stories without having to hire an exterminator? From the little research I have done online, it sounds like this is just too much of a risk to not have taken care of by a professional and the right way. The thought of little bugs hiding in my house slowly eating away at it right now is making me sick. Where the hell do termites even come from? Why am I the only person on my block that seems to have these little spawns of Satan eating away at their very home?

That Storm Had It Out For Me


Things have actually been alright lately

Alright so let me start off by saying that I realize it has been almost a month since my last post and I have to admit, it’s been pretty nice. My boss hasn’t been his normal psychotic self lately and sales have been pretty good which definitely helped my whole god damn tree situation. I honestly cannot think of a problem that I have ever run into as far as home services go that broke my bank so hard. I COULD HAVE WENT TO AUSTRALIA WITH THE MONEY I SPENT GETTING RID OF THAT TREE…. TWICE!!

But I got over the pain of writing that check for almost four thousand dollars after a week or so and calmed myself down, continuously reminding myself that life throws some curve balls every once in a while and I should just be thankful that the stupid thing didn’t crash into my car or even worse, my house. So after a week or so went by with no issues I started feeling pretty good about life in general and I really have been working on my anger issues. It really is amazing how much power the human mind has and the influence it can have on your overall mood and outlook on life. Another thing that I have been dabbling in which I never in a million years thought I would is meditation. Nothing too crazy, but I think it’s having a real positive impact on my general everyday life. I downloaded this app for beginners and teaches you the basics. My favorite part of it is the sleep ones they have. I haven’t had such good sleep in years. Things were looking ok… Notice the “were” in that sentence.

Oh, what’s this?

So I was out back last night just cleaning up my backyard and trying to tidy up everything when I noticed something a little odd on the side of my house. There are these little muddish color tubes going up from the ground and into my house that looks a little like this:

For anyone out there that knows what this is, you know the feeling of misery and absolute horror that immediately took over my entire body.

These are termites.

Back to square one

Are you there God? It’s me, you’re favorite science experiment that you love seeing how far you can push before he winds up in a straight jacket being hauled away to a mental institution. I don’t think I really need to explain to any of you lovely readers how bad this could be. There is not enough meditation practices in the world that could save me from this pain and anger I am feeling right now.

I have never had to deal with anything like this before in my life and have no idea where they could have came from. I’m assuming it has to do with some of the dead trees in my yard or my neighbors lawn and they just instinctively knew that I would be the best target to hit and destroy. The tree guys that came out took care of everything in my front yard but they wanted another grand to take out everything in my back yard which I just refused to spend anymore money on. I was lazy of course though and kind of kept putting off cleaning everything up and I think they must have just taken over in the past month. Well, it’s back to the phone book and time to call an exterminator. Oh I can’t wait to hear how much this one is going to cost me. If you don’t see a post from me in another month, I probably jumped off a building. Check back to see how this whole experience goes…


Another Thing to Add to the List

Tree Pruning

I would like to take this time to give any of you younger readers out there a little advice…

Embrace every single second of not being an adult… I hate to be the one to tell you this but it is all downhill after your 20’s. Let alone your teens and even younger. You can run outside, play with friends, and not have a care in the world. No bills, no responsibilities….

And no trees crashing down into your front lawn, costing you thousands of dollars.

who can afford this?

Now granted, this is the first time I have ever had any kind of trouble with trees and have never needed a tree service of any kind. But why the hell does this have to happen to me right now?? I am getting a little ahead of myself, let me explain…

So 2 nights ago, we had a major thunderstorm in our town and it really came down hard all night. I actually can’t even remember the last time we had such a storm. So I wake up in the morning to no pounding thunder outside my window and am feeling good that I at least don’t have to walk out to my car in the pouring rain. This day was turning out all right. I carried on with my morning ritual,

Cold shower to wake my ass up and shave my face. Check.

3 cups of fresh brewed coffee from my Keureg. Check.

2 eggs over easy on top of 2 blueberry waffles, one with raspberry jelly and the other maple syrup (try it before you judge me). Check.

Brewed one last cup of coffee in my mug for the road. Check.

Move this 30 foot tree laying directly behind my car so I can get out of my driveway and go to work. No check.

It wasn’t quite this big but you get the idea. So I need to call my buddy to pick me up and drive me to work and try to carry on with my day. I definitely did not plan on spending the night after work on the internet looking for different tree service companies to clean up this mess. Seriously, this thing would have taken me months to get rid of by myself or with friends. I really don’t like calling and paying companies for outside work very often, I have learned a lot over my years and I can do pretty much any kind of home improvement work, but this was too much.

So after calling around I go with the cheapest quote that I got, a whopping $3,950.


I really did not need this right now. I will admit though, I was impressed with their work. They didn’t just tie the thing up and haul it away. Tree pruning has to be done to all of the outside branches and limbs before they can take it all away. It was pretty cool seeing them take it apart in such small precise pieces and watching it all be shredded into basically nothing. They were done in a couple hours and I am just glad that headache is over…

Stay tuned to hear about my next pleasant surprise!



This Guy Needs a Vacation


I’ve had it with everything

Anyone else out there had just about enough of everything and is ready to take off for a week or two or twelve?

After today, I am about ready to pack up everything I can fit in a suitcase and buy the next plane ticket to Hawaii and just live off the land. Fish for my own food and create my own shelter. I think I would be alright living as a hermit. I don’t need my phone buzzing and vibrating every 30 seconds. I could definitely go without my ex wife continuously calling me, needing whatever the hell she needs at that moment. And I most certainly can do away with my boss breathing down my neck every day waiting for the next memo that he is going to immediately critique and shoot down.

I’m tired of it all.

enough is enough

Being the old man that I am, I really think we have reached our peak with all of this technology. How much further are they going to push all of this? When I was a kid, a telephone was all you had.

We didn’t have this constant texting.

No Facebook.

No emails.

No voicemails.

Hell, we didn’t even have the internet (I know that must be a shocker to my younger audience).

Nowadays, everyone is a simple push of a button away from getting in contact with anyone you may desire. I feel like no one has any alone time anymore and there is just no escape. If my boss or ex wife needs something, all they have to do is pick up their phone, send a text, and that’s it. God forbid I don’t respond in under 30 seconds which just makes the matter worse. What happened to being independent???

The way everyone is absolutely glued to their phones these days, you really have no excuse for not answering a call or text. What if I am just not in the mood to talk to you right now?

That brings me to my next point. Every time I go out, I take a mental note of how many people are too busy staring blankly into their smart phone to even look up and acknowledge anyone around them. It really is getting scary out there and I don’t see it getting better anytime soon. Every day there seems to be some kind of new stupid gizmo or gadget that is supposed to make our lives “easier” but is just making us dumber and lazier. Can you believe apple just came out with their smart watch??? Yeah Apple you’re right, picking up my phone and going to my email was wayyyy too much work. Now that I just have to lift up my wrist I don’t have to waste anymore time putting in my phones password to get my email! THANKS APPLE!!!!!

I know I am probably coming off as a grumpy old cynical man that hates the world and yells at kids when they play on his lawn, but I am really not. I like to consider myself “concerned,” but not angry.

You all just wait… This technology will be the death of us all. Alright that sounded a little dramatic, but I am sticking with it.